Book a Sample Session

8 Harmful Lies You Tell Yourself


Lying to other people is bad enough but lying to yourself is more destructive. The lies you tell yourself have an insidious purpose. You're either trying to absolve yourself of responsibility or justifying inaction. The damage you do by lying to yourself is enormous.

Take back control of your life by stopping these lies: 

There is plenty of time later to do it. Do you want to do it or not? So often, it's the thought of doing something but lacking the interest or determination to put it in time, work, or sacrifice to make it happen. Playing the guitar might sound like a cool thing to learn, but the idea of practicing for hours to play at a mediocre level isn't attractive. 

  • If you really want to do it, you'll find a way. If you don't, you'll find 1,000 reasons to put it off and procrastinate. 
  • Realize that you CHOOS how you spend your time. 

I'll just tell them to change the way they are. Think about how difficult it is to change yourself. Any change is highly challenging, even when you're seriously motivated. The odds are that the person you want to change is less than enthusiastic. You have a losing battle on your hands. 

  • If it's important that the other person change, you'd be better off finding someone else to fill the part. 

There's must be something wrong with me. I'm not like other people. Everyone believes they're different. You are certainly unique, but you're remarkably similar to the average person. You're not defective or deficient. 

  • This type of thinking serves as an excuse to play the victim and remain small. 

Sometimes, I think it'll get better or go away if I just ignore it. Things tend to get worse if ignored. Unless you have a magical fairy taking care of business for you, you'll have to deal directly with your problems in life. Otherwise, you'll find your problems grow and multiply. 

It's that I'm too young / I'm too old. Indeed, you won't be a CEO at 3-years old or start medical school at 106. However, age is much less limiting than you believe. The young and old have accomplished incredible things. You can too.  

I don't have any other choice. You have more choices than you could possibly imagine. Your habitual actions and thoughts are limiting. Open your mind to all the possibilities. There are always other choices. Brainstorm with a resourceful friend and investigate your other options. 

I don't want to make a fool out of myself. Like most of us, you're probably far too inhibited. You're not a teenager anymore. It's time to let go of the fear of others' opinions. 

  • An exciting life is boldly lived. When you're fearless, you're going to receive some negative feedback. When you're timid, though, you'll still receive negative comments. You can potentially be criticized no matter what you do, so do what's best for you. 
  • Remember that 99% of the time, no one really cares. Everyone is too absorbed with their own issues. 

It's too late. This is similar to "I'm too old." Starting a business might have been more convenient before you married and had children, but it's still a possibility. The idea that it's too late is just another excuse to justify staying where you are, comfortable in your own misery. 

By lying, you take the responsibility off of your shoulders and redistribute it. You lie to yourself to protect yourself from possible failure. But lying to yourself ensures that you'll stay stuck. Start being honest with yourself and face life head-on. You'll be glad you did!

Laura Reichert is the CEO and founder of Triangle Life Coaching. 

She offers in-office coaching and virtual coaching via video or phone call. 

Find out more